The mouldywarp king

Danny said a mouldywarp was different to a mole: they were clever like people, and if you left them food they would dig up treasure for you. He was always saying things like that, and always leaving food for vermin, too. And now he's rich, and he says it's all because of the mouldywarp king, and I tell him to stop being stupid but he doesn't care. He just laughs and pays for dinner.