Level crossing

I had one foot on the railway track when the alarm sounded for the level crossing. I could keep on forward or I could turn back, and it was obvious which I should do. I would clear the crossing in a few steps and be on my way. But the way back was shorter, and a train was coming. and those big CCTV cameras were watching me. My back foot itched to go forwards and my front foot yearned to turn back. I stood still as a sleeper but I felt I was spinning. There were lights everywhere: flashing on the signals, spinning behind my eyes, coming down the track.