Daily stories

She had all her broken things arranged on the kitchen table: phones, friendships, hopes, hoover. Clothes and cares all gone into holes. She set to work with needle and thread and screwdriver and solder, one by one, the only way to do anything. By the time the sun went down it was all working, more or less, but some of it rattled when she shook it, and she had a little box of parts left over. She put them in the drawer, to mend the next things.

I went back to the old church most days. You could find me on my knees, head bowed. I had dropped something very precious there, and in the dim light it was hard to search for. Of course, I knew I would never find it. It had probably been sucked up the nose of their worn-out Henry Hoover the day I lost it. But it was a place of hope.

We didn't have all the pieces, so we had to invent our own rules. Two scrappy little armies, one of them mostly pawns, but the pawns were so battered you could tell each one apart. We gave them names, skills, stories. From time to time they would switch sides. One day we found a pristine set, all boxed up. It smelled of pine and paint. We turned out the pieces and lined them up. It didn't look right. Not like a real fight.

Glyn did amateur dramatics in his old school hall, under the direction of his old school drama teacher. It felt like a nightmare, sometimes, standing around before rehearsal under those same fluorescent lights but talking about jobs and backaches. But then the run came round, the audience filed in, the lights went down, and the joy of being someone else hit all the harder.

A new way of living. That's what we were promised. That's what we had longed for, all the long days. A way that would connect us. We gave up everything, and did it gladly, because there wasn't anything we wanted to keep. But it's not a new way of living, after all. It's the same old way, with a different man in the big chair.

Flat on my back, spilled beer seeping into my shirt, I was thinking: they can all tell. Everyone can see this is the first punch I've ever taken. They are looking at me on the ground and thinking: what else hasn't he done? My jaw didn't hurt too badly. There was enough blood in my mouth to spit out in a casual, tough-looking way. I could still turn this around.

From the very top of the tree, you could see out across the whole forest, but nothing that was happening within it: the world beneath was hidden under leaves. But some of the creatures seemed to see deeper. Every movement below came together to ripple the branches just so, and they could read it.

From the bottom of the tree, you could not be sure how far you saw through the dense lines of trunks. But what was there rustled and sprang and called like life itself. And some of the creatures seemed to see further, like the forest was all one thing.

I liked it best nestled in the boughs of the tree, wrapped up close, seeing nothing else at all.

After the wreck they stayed in the lighthouse. It was the only shelter with room for them, and though they felt resentful of it for failing to save them, they were grateful for its strong walls when the winds blew again. Gray spent the days hauling scraps of their boat up onto the beach, laying them out just so, finding the grooves where his hands had once rested. He never asked what Blue was doing. She wouldn't come out with him. One day he came back, and she had repaired the light.

She scrunched the letter into a loose ball and threw it into the fire. It was an electric fire, with the flames projected on a little screen, and she would have to pick the paper out later. But for the moment, it felt suitably dramatic. She turned her back and walked away, stopping at the door to decide where she should go. When she came back, the letter had opened itself out. It flickered red and orange, and by the light of those cold flames, she saw she had misread it.

I could charge a good price for my little bottles of shame. With a mister top or a dropper, depending on how you planned to apply it, they were terribly convenient. Everybody knows somebody who needs a little more shame. I heard from people whose spouses had stopped drinking, whose bosses had stopped screaming, whose landlords had lowered the rent. And I heard from people, too, who put a drop on their partner’s pillow just to keep them in line. That was good. It kept the supply up.